For nine months, the attention of expectant parents and their loved ones is focused on pregnancy and childbirth. We plan, learn, and prepare. However, the real challenge and the most important time of adaptation for the new family begins immediately afterward – during the often-overlooked, yet crucial, postpartum period. This isn't just a time of physical recovery, but a profound shift in family dynamics, emotions, and daily functioning. Our guest, Dominika Ludwińska, a mother and future midwife who daily accompanies parents through this transformation, explains why conscious preparation for this time is crucial for the well-being of the mother and the entire family. What is a "postpartum plan," how to discuss support and boundaries, and how to cope with this new, demanding reality?

Postpartum period – a time that is overlooked but crucial for the family

Modern culture places enormous emphasis on pregnancy and childbirth itself. We plan, read, and attend childbirth classes – all to best prepare for the birth of a child.
"I have the impression that women and couples are very focused on preparing for childbirth (...), and the topic of postpartum and everything that comes afterward is somewhat overlooked, forgotten," notes Dominika Ludwińska. The prevailing belief is: "Okay, it will be what it will be, the important thing is that the birth happens."
However, it is during the postpartum period that we have much more control over the situation than during the often unpredictable birth itself. This is a time we can and should consciously plan to help ourselves and the entire family transition into their new role.

Postpartum plan: what exactly is it and why is it worth having?

A postpartum plan isn't a rigid schedule, but rather a set of thoughts and arrangements that will help a family navigate their new situation. It's a tool that allows you to consider key issues before fatigue and hormonal fluctuations set in. As Dominika Ludwińska emphasizes, it's worth including:

1. Communication and visits: Decide together when you'll announce the birth to your loved ones, when you're ready for the first visit, who can visit you, and for how long. This helps avoid pressure and awkward situations.
2. Boundaries and expectations: Learn to clearly communicate your needs. Establishing common ground with your partner, or even a "keyword" that signals when guests should be leaving, can be incredibly helpful.
3. Support from loved ones: Think about the specific help you need. It might be cooking dinner, doing the shopping, walking the dog, or caring for an older child. "It's all about making their lives easier," Dominika emphasizes.
4. The role of the father/partner: The postpartum period is a challenging time for the entire family. The father also experiences stress and fatigue. It's worth considering in the plan how he can actively participate in the care and how he can be supported as well.

"Village" – the foundation of postpartum support

"I believe there's strength in a village, but it's worth creating one" says Dominika Ludwińska. This "village" is a support network – family, friends, but also other mothers going through the same thing.
Not every woman wants or can rely on the help of loved ones. Relationships can be complicated, and the expectations of different generations can lead to conflict. However, it's worth remembering that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. For many mothers, groups of other parents, whether online or in the form of local meetups, prove to be a huge support.
Meeting and talking with other people is important. Especially with someone who is at the same stage as you and experiencing similar things. Sharing experiences and knowing that we're not alone in our difficulties has enormous therapeutic power.

Chaos is normal: accept the new reality

Life doesn't return to "normal" after giving birth. A completely new normal is emerging.
"The truth is, parents' lives won't return to their old rhythm after giving birth, because so much simply changes. There's a new family member, you all have to get to know each other," Dominika Ludwińska explains. The chaos of the first weeks is natural. Days blending into nights, waking up every few hours, constant fatigue – this is what most parents experience. The pressure to do everything "perfectly" is immense, but also unrealistic.
"Loving parents won't hurt their child. And even if you picked them up incorrectly, even if they lay in that bassinet for two hours because they fell asleep, nothing will really happen," the expert reassures.

An appeal to parents: prepare for the period after childbirth

Dear parents, remember that childbirth is just the beginning of the journey.

• Create your postpartum plan: Reflect together on your needs, boundaries, and forms of support. Do this while you're still pregnant, calmly.
• Communicate: Talk to each other and your loved ones about your expectations. Learn to say "no" when you feel overwhelmed.
• Build your "Village": Seek support from other parents. Don't isolate yourself. Remember that you are not alone in your experiences.
• Accept the chaos: The first weeks and months are a time of adaptation. Be understanding and give yourself time to find your way in a new reality.
• Remember that every story is different: Don't compare yourself to the perfect images on social media. Your journey is unique, and that's okay. "Every woman has a different story, and each one is different, unique, and uniquely your own. So you, too, have your own story, and create it on your own terms." Dominika Ludwińska remains.

Preparing for the postpartum period is an investment in peace, mental health, and good relationships for your entire family. It's the foundation on which you will build your new life.

This article is based on a conversation with Dominika Ludwińska, a mother and future midwife, conducted as part of the Healthy Kids CLUUb.